Recipe for Disaster & other One Shot's
by Shadow of the Forgotten
Summary: A collection of humorous one shot's involving Seigaku's tennis team. Includes: Inui and his...drinks, Momo playing a detective, Kikumaru enjoying his favorite holiday and more.
1. Recipe for Disaster

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the Prince of Tennis or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Recipe for Disaster

* * *

Inui stood in the middle of his kitchen dressed in a bright pink 'Kiss the Cook' apron. "Hmm." He muttered as he sprinkled some green colored pieces into his blender. The red blob in the machine began to bubble before exploding, showering his entire kitchen in a sticky paste. "Next time no avocado rinds." He said as he jotted down the information on his failure. "By my count, this makes 13 failed attempts." Flipping through his notes, he frowned. "Maybe it will work if I add more eggs and also some molasses." He said as he cleaned up the kitchen and prepared to start another batch.

Three batches later, Inui had finally succeeded in making it into a drinkable liquid. "Who knew that egg shells and kidney beans would cause liquid to solidify?" Inui muttered as he pushed his glasses up. "I need to collect more data." Mumbling, he sat down and wrote down the ingredients for his next recipe.

Cleaning up his tools once again, Inui placed his open notebook on the counter and began to make his latest concoction. "2 cups water." He muttered as he dumped it into the blender. "Carrots, spinach, broccoli and pickles, check." He said as he continued to add the ingredients. "2 eggs without shells, lemon juice, milk and a handful of salt." Mixing the blender, he was pleased to note that it was still a fine liquid. "And now, to add the final ingredient." He said as he sprinkled a powder into the blender.

Mixing the juice one final time, Inui got a bottle ready and poured the mixture into it. "Tomorrow I shall test this new drink, which I will call 'Inui's juice'. He said as he placed the bottle in the fridge and headed to bed. He'd need plenty of sleep if he was going to get accurate data at practice.

ooooo

The next day at morning practice, Inui watched as the tennis club members warmed up. Walking up to the captain of the team, Tezuka, Inui tapped him on the arm to get his attention.

"What can I help you with?" Captain Tezuka asked.

"I have invented a drink that I believe will help condition the player's bodies." Inui said as he fixed his glasses. Holding up the bottle, he continued. "I would like your permission to distribute it among the players."

Tezuka simply nodded his head and went back to watching the practice matches.

Since he had the captains permission, Inui walked over to his bag and pulled out a bunch of cups. Filling them up with his concoction, he lined the cups up and waited for the players to finish.

Twenty minutes later Inui lined up all the regulars, minus the captain of course, from the Seigaku tennis club and handed out his drink.

"What's this Inui?" Oishi asked as he was handed a cup.

"It's my latest invention." Inui said with a smile. "I designed it to help your bodies adjust to my new training regiment."

Oishi nodded. "Well that was thoughtful of you." He said smiling.

"Hey Inui? Why's it this weird purple color?" Momo asked, eyeing the drink suspiciously.

"And why is it bubbling?" Ryoma asked.

"What does it matter?" Fuji said with his ever present smile. "Inui said it would help us, so let's just be polite and drink it."

The rest of the team just nodded when Fuji's aura seemed to radiate evil. Holding up his cup, Fuji waited for the others to follow suit. Tipping his head back, he downed the contents of the cup in one gulp. "That was pretty good." He said as he finished. Not hearing responses from the other players, he looked around, only to find them all shouting and holding their throats like they were in pain. Before he could ask what was going on, they all ran off towards the fountain. "What's their problem?" Fuji asked himself. "I thought it tasted good. The wasabi powder was a nice touch."

Inui stood outside the playing fields watching the regulars practically drowning themselves as they tried to get rid of the taste. "Hmm, it seems this batch was unsuccessful." He muttered as he wrote down his findings. "Next time, exchange the wasabi powder for garlic." He said as he finished taking his notes. "Looks like I need more data before I can perfect it, I'll try again tomorrow."


	2. Detective Momo

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the Prince of Tennis or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Detective Momo

* * *

"WHERE IS IT?!" Ryoma yelled as he continued to throw things around his room.

"Hey Ryoma, what's all the noise for?" Momoshiro asked as he let himself into his friend's room.

"I can't find my racket." Ryoma stated angrily. "I put it next to my bed last night and now I don't know where it is."

Suddenly Mom disappeared. A few moments later he was back, only now he was dressed in a brown cloak and hat and he had a pipe in his mouth. "Never fear." He said dramatically. "Detective Momo is on the case."

"What the hell are you wearing?" Ryoma asked as he stared at Momo wide eyed. "You look like a wanna be Sherlock Holmes." He muttered under his breath.

"You like?" Momo asked as he modeled off his outfit, completely oblivious to his last statement. "It's what I wear when I'm solving cases."

"All those burgers have finally fried your brain." Ryoma said shaking his head. "I think you should go home and rest before you become any more delusional."

Momo scoffed. "How rude, and here I am just trying to help you out." He said sadly. "See if I help you again."

Feeling guilty, Ryoma sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just mad cause I can't find my racket, I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"Apology accepted, now let's get to work." Momo said clapping his hands. "Ok, first we need to interview everyone and get their alibis." He said, pulling a notebook out of thin air.

Ryoma raised an eyebrow. "Momo, no one has been in my room except for us." Just then he heard a meow. "And of course Karupin."

"Fine then, we'll start with…you." Momo said pointing at the cat. "Where were you last night between the hours of 10pm and 6am?"

"Meow." Karupin said before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

"Okaay, I can rule out that suspect. Now onto the next one." Momo said as he turned to Ryoma. "Where were you between the hours of 10pm and 6am last night?"

"In bed asleep, duh." Ryoma said rolling his eyes.

"Hmm, well that just leaves on more suspect, me." Momo said as he started interrogating himself.

Ryoma shook his head before heading to his closet to get his coat. "I'll go crazy if I have to listen to him any longer." He muttered. Opening his closet, he paused. There on the floor was his racket. "Oh yeah." He said as he smacked his forehead. "I put it in here last night since Karupin wouldn't quit playing with it." Grabbing his racket and coat, he took one last look at his crazy friend and left. "Don't make me turn into the bad cop." He heard Momo say before he shut his door. 'Maybe I should let him know I found it.' Ryoma thought. 'Naah. I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually. Besides, I don't want to interrupt his _interrogation_; he just started trying to beat the information out of his 'suspect'. I can't wait to hear him try to explain his injuries to the team.' He thought with a chuckle as he headed off to practice.


	3. National Glomping Day

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the Prince of Tennis or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

National Glomping Day

* * *

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

**BE-**

Eiji Kikumaru smiled as he sat up and reached over to shut off his alarm clock. He continued to smile as he got dressed, made and ate breakfast, and brushed his teeth with his brand new toothpaste. In fact, he was still smiling when he got to Seigaku middle school and entered the tennis courts.

"What has you in such a good mood today?" His doubles partner Oishi asked.

Turning towards him, Kikumaru grinned even wider, though Oishi wasn't sure how that was possible. "I'm happy because today is National Glomping Day." Kikumaru said as he glomped his partner.

Being as he was well used to his partners odd behavior, Oishi just smiled and nodded his head. "That's great." Oishi said as he gave Kikumaru a pat on the head. "Well I have to go and help captain Tezuka now, so I'll see you later." He said as he headed off to the club room.

As soon as Oishi left, Kikumaru pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. Putting a check mark next to his partner's name, he folded the paper and put it back in his pocket. "One down, seven more to go." He said as he skipped off towards his next _victim_.

Seeing Momo and Kaidoh walking off a court together, actually it was more like 'at the same time' since they were ignoring each other, he ran over to greet them. "Hi you guys." Kikumaru said as he bounced from one foot to another. "Guess what day it is today."

"Thursday." Momo said proudly since he knew the answer.

"That's not what he meant idiot." Kaidoh hissed.

"Of course it is." Momo said as he got into a fighting stance.

"Eh, you gu-." Kikumaru started saying before he was cut off.

"No it's not." Kaidoh said as they faced off.

"Yes it is." Momo said angrily.

Kikumaru tuned them out after that. Pulling out his sheet of paper, he put a line through both of their names. On the side he made a small note. _Unable to glomp due to dangerous situation._ 'Oh well, on to the next one.' He thought as he went off to find the others.

He found Inui sitting on a bench with his notebook on his lap. "Hey Inui." Kikumaru said as he stopped in front of him. "Do you know what day it is today?"

Inui glanced up from his notes and adjusted his glasses. "Today is Thursday, March 12."

Kikumaru frowned. "Why does everyone keep telling me the date? Don't they know that today is a holiday?" He asked.

Looking confused, Inui pulled out a calendar. Flipping to the days date, he stared at the page. "There's no data listed about a holiday today." He said with a frown. "Please explain."

"I'd love to." Kikumaru said as he quickly glomped Inui. "Today is National Glomping Day." He said with a smile as he walked away, leaving a very confused and startled Inui staring off into space. 'Another one down.' He thought as he proceeded to check off his name. Before he could decide on his next victim, Fuji and Kawamura walked up. Without a word, Kikumaru went up and glomped Kawamura. "Happy National Glomping Day!" He said enthusiastically.

Kawamura backed slowly away from his crazy, hyperactive teammate with a blush growing on his face.

Happy with his success, Kikumaru turned to glomp Fuji, only to stop dead in his tracks. Fuji didn't look like he was in too good of a mood. Deciding that it was another dangerous situation that was best left avoided, he bolted.

After he was a safe distance away, he put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath. "Fuji is scary when he's like that." He said with a shudder.

"When is Fuji not scary?" A voice behind him asked.

Kikumaru grinned before turning around and glomping his pintsized teammate. "Happy Glomping Day O-chibi!" He said as he continued to crush the boy.

"K-kikumaru…c-can't b-breath." Ryoma squeaked out.

Letting him go, Kikumaru stepped back and scratched his head nervously. "Sorry about that." He said. "I guess I got overexcited since today is National Glomping Day."

"So how is that different from every other day?" Ryoma asked. "You do this to me every time you see me."

Kikumaru thought about it for a moment. "True, but today is different because…" He said before pausing.

"Because why?" Ryoma asked.

"Because…well…it just is." Kikumaru said after awhile.

"In other words, there is no difference. You just felt like making it a big deal when it's not." Ryoma stated bluntly.

Kikumaru sniffed and began to cry. "You're mean, I'm gonna tell Oishi and the captain on you."

"Wait!! Don't do that!" Ryoma begged thinking about all the laps he'd have to run. "I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Kikumaru asked with a smirk. Seeing Ryoma nod, he smiled evilly. "Fine, you have to participate in National Glomping Day with me." He said as he grabbed Ryoma's arm.

"NOOOOO!!" Ryoma screamed as he was drug off. "Anything but that!" His only reply was a maniacal laugh as the hand around his wrist tightened.


	4. The Bandana Thief

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the Prince of Tennis or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

The Bandana Thief a.k.a. Detective Momo Returns

* * *

"Hurry up Ryoma!" Momo yelled, as the two friends ran through the gates at school. "If we're late we'll have to run laps."

"You don't have to tell me that." Ryoma mumbled under his breath as they both picked up their speed.

Rounding a corner, Ryoma stopped suddenly, causing Momo to slam into his back. "Why'd you stop?" Momo asked annoyed, rubbing his chin where it had collided with Ryoma's head.

Once he stopped seeing stars, Ryoma glared at Momo. "That hurt you know." He said as he rubbed the back of his head softly.

"Well it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't stopped so quickly." Momo said knowingly. "Why did you stop anyway?"

"Phsssh." A voice hissed from in front of them.

"Oh, Kaidoh." Momo said. "I didn't see you th-…whoa, what happened to you?"

Narrowing his eyes, Kaidoh took a menacing step forward.

"I think what he meant." Ryoma said, stepping between the two before a fight could erupt. "Was that you look…uh…different."

And he did, no longer was his black hair held back by his favorite green bandana. Now it was loose, hanging several inches down his face.

"Yeah, where's that stupid rag of yours?" Momo asked, after getting over his shock of actually seeing Kaidoh's hair.

"I…uh…lost it." Kaidoh replied, looking around nervously.

"I find that hard to be-." Ryoma started to say as he looked at Kaidoh suspiciously, only to be interrupted by Momo's outburst.

"I know!" Momo said excitedly. "It must have been stolen."

Ryoma and Kaidoh blinked, both wondering how in the hell Momo came up with those crazy ideas of his.

Smiling at Kaidoh, which kind of freaked him out, Momo disappeared, only to reappear moments later dressed in his favorite Sherlock Holmes costume. "Never fear." He said, putting the pipe to his lips. "Detective Momo is on the case."

"Not again." Ryoma groaned, slapping his forehead as he remembered what had happened the last time he wore that outfit, while Kaidoh simply stood there in shock. "I can't believe you still have that thi-." And once again, Ryoma was cut off.

"Come my dear Wat-…er, Ryoma." Momo said theatrically. "We have a case to solve." Grabbing said boy's hand, Momo proceeded to drag him off.

"Hey, let me go!" Ryoma cried, only to be ignored.

"No can do, we've got suspects to interrogate." Momo said happily.

"Why me?" Ryoma whined as they disappeared out of sight.

Shaking his head, Kaidoh continued on towards practice. 'What the hell is wrong with him?' He thought to himself. 'But I am thankful for Momo's stupid idea, Ryoma probably would have pressed the issue and then I would have been in trouble. I _do_ have a reputation to protect after all.'

ooooo

In a cardboard box, several blocks away from Seigaku middle school, a tiny kitten lay sleeping. Twitching his little nose, he burrowed his way deeper into the warmth of the small green blanket that had been tucked around him. Yawning, he curled his tail around his body and fell back asleep.


	5. Ryoma's Secret Life

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the Prince of Tennis or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Ryoma's Secret Life

* * *

Ryoma's eye twitched as he stood on a platform in front of the mirror. "How much longer is this going to take Nanako?" He growled. "I've been standing here for an hour."

Nanako looked up from where she was kneeling on the floor and smiled gently. "I'm sorry it's taking so long, but I'm almost done."

Mentally crossing his arms, he'd get poked with a pin if he actually did it, Ryoma sighed. 'How did I let myself get talked into this?' He thought in annoyance.

**Flashback**

"I'm home!" Ryoma called out as he threw off his shoes and dumped his gear by the door. Hearing a muffled voice, he headed into the living room and paused. "What are you doing Nanako?" He asked as he watched his cousin trying to pin the dress she was currently wearing.

"Oh, hello Ryoma." Nanako said, standing up and smoothing out the skirt. Seeing his raised eyebrow, she shrugged. "I'm trying to hem my dress for this weekend's party, but it's not working very well."

"Ah." Ryoma said as he took a seat.

Suddenly Nanako got a strange look in her eye and she smiled sweetly. "Could you help me out?" She asked.

With a shrug, Ryoma stood up and went to grab the pins from her.

"That's not what I meant." Nanako said, putting the pins down and pulling the dress over her head. "I'd like you to put the dress on for me so I can pin it correctly."

Ryoma's eyes widened and he sputtered. "N-no w-way! I'm not dressing up like a girl!"

Nanako sniffled and her eyes began to water. "That's not very nice, I just asked for your help."

As he watched the tears began to fall, Ryoma sighed. "Alright, just stop crying." Then as an afterthought he added. "And you better not tell anyone about this either."

"Oh, thank you!" Nanako cried, enveloping the younger boy in a hug. "Now just throw this on over your clothes while I get something for you to stand on."

**End Flashback**

'At least she's almost done.' Ryoma thought as he looked in the mirror.

Suddenly the door burst open and Nanjiro walked in. "Hello every-." Pausing, he raised an eyebrow at his son before grinning like an idiot. "My son you look adorable!" He said happily. "Next time try a bikini!"

"PERVERTED OLD MAN!!" Ryoma screamed as his father ran off down the hall laughing. "Get back here!" Just as he was about to jump down, a needle embedded itself in his leg. "Ow!"

"Stop moving around, I'm almost finished." Nanako said sternly.

Grumbling, Ryoma began plotting his old man's demise.

A few minutes later, his father's voice was heard. "Nanako, there's a call for you!"

"Be right there." Nanako said as she stood up. "Now, don't move or I'll have to start all over." She told Ryoma as she walked out.

The time ticked by and Ryoma started to fidget. "What the hell is taking so long?" He muttered.

Just then he heard a knock on the front door, and without thinking, he hopped down and went to see who it was. "What do you want Momo?" Ryoma asked when he saw his friend. "I'm a little busy."

Choking on his tongue, Momo began to snicker. "I can see that." He said as he pulled out his phone.

Looking confused, Ryoma suddenly remembered that he was still wearing the dress. "Crap!" He yelled as he quickly shut the door.

Unfortunately, Momo had managed to get a picture, and the next day at school Ryoma found himself surrounded by people holding up a newspaper article. Reading the headline, Ryoma's eyes widened. 'Ryoma's Secret Life Revealed' was written in big bold letters above a picture of him wearing the dress. Narrowing his eyes, he tore up the paper in front of his face and screamed before running off. "MOMO, YOU'RE DEAD!!"

Somewhere on the tennis courts Momo sneezed before brushing it off and getting back to his match. 'Some cute girl must be thinking about me.' He thought happily.


	6. Fuji and the Ghost

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the Prince of Tennis or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Fuji and the Ghost a.k.a. Detective Momo's Ghost Hunt

* * *

It was another typical day for the tennis club members at Seigaku middle school. The sun was shining, Momo and Kaidoh were in a fist fight and Inui was once again trying to poison everyone with his disgusting concoctions. As Ryoma watched Eiji bounce around the court, he picked up his water bottle and took a sip.

"BOO!"

Ryoma screamed and jumped up, dropping his water bottle in the process. Turning around, he came face to face with a smiling Fuji. Patting his chest to slow down his heartbeat, Ryoma glared up at his teammate. "What'd you do that for?!" He asked angrily. "You practically scared me to death."

"Ah, so you're afraid of ghosts are you?" Fuji asked with a frightening smile.

Blinking, Ryoma shook his head as he tried to figure out how Fuji got that idea. "Of course not, everyone knows that ghosts don't exist." He replied. "You just startled me, that's all."

"Hmm, so you're not afraid of ghosts then." Fuji said, his eyes opening marginally. "Well then, how would you like to go on a ghost hunt?"

Ryoma rolled his eyes and sat back down on the bleachers. "Didn't I just say that ghosts don't exist, why would I want to waste my time hunting something that isn't there to begin with?"

"But they do exist." Fuji said as Momo came limping over.

"What exist?" Momo asked, grabbing Ryoma's bottle and taking a gulp.

Giving his teammate a glare, Ryoma snatched his water back. "Stop taking my things." He said in annoyance. "You have your own water bottle over there."

Ignoring the smaller boy beside him, Momo looked over at Fuji expectantly. "So, what is it that exists?" He asked. "Something interesting I hope."

Fuji's eyes narrowed to the point where they almost appeared to be closed. "Why ghosts of course." He said nonchalantly. When Momo raised an eyebrow, he continued. "Let me guess, you guys have never heard the story of the tortured ghost that haunts the equipment shed at night have you?" When both boys shook their heads, he smiled. "The story goes that many years ago there was a young tennis prodigy, much like you Ryoma, that always stayed late after school to practice. One day, after all his teammates had left, the boy was putting everything away in the equipment shed when he heard strange noises coming from the back. Slowly he snuck around the lockers, and when he reached that locked room in the back he was surprised to find a light on. Not only that, but there were strange sounds coming from the other side of the door."

"…what kind of sounds?" Momo asked with wide eyes, he was really getting into the story now.

With a creepy smile, Fuji opened his eyes and stared at the two boys before him. "He heard bubbling noises, like something was being boiled. As the young boy peaked around the corner, his eyes widened in fear. There at the counter was a freaky man with a large butcher knife in his hand. That wouldn't have been too scary if it wasn't for the fact that the man was currently cutting strips of meat off of what appeared to be a human hand and tossing it into a boiling pot." Smirking as he watched Ryoma and Momo pale, he continued. "The boy turned to run, but in his haste he caught his foot on the door. That boy was never heard from again, but every night it is said you can hear the ominous bubbling of the boiling pot and the screams as the boy is cooked alive."

Ryoma gulped and glanced over at the equipment shed nervously. "W-well that's a nice story and all, but I've never heard any sounds coming from the shed." Ryoma said with a slight stutter.

"Ah, but have you ever been here late at night once everyone's gone home?" Fuji asked. Both Momo and Ryoma shook their heads and Fuji smiled as he picked up his racket. "Well who knows, maybe the ghost is real, maybe not. I guess we'll never know." With a nod, he headed over to join Tezuka on the court.

Looking over at Momo, Ryoma backed up a few feet when he saw the look on his friends face. "Oh no, we are not going to go looking for Fuji's ghost." He said sternly. "Absolutely not."

Momo simply grinned. "Tonight we go on a ghost hunt."

ooooo

Later that night, after the school was closed for the day and everyone had gone home, Ryoma found himself standing outside the equipment shed by the tennis courts. "How the hell did I let myself get talked into this?" He whined.

Suddenly, Momo appeared next to him in his favorite detective outfit with the pipe held precariously between his lips. Removing his pipe, Momo nodded at Ryoma and stared at the shed they were about to investigate. "Come my young apprentice, we have much to do and very little time to do it…my mom said I had to be home by 10:30pm."

Ryoma stared at his 'friend' and shook his head. "Seriously, don't you ever get tired of that stupid outfit? It looks ridiculous." When he got no response, Ryoma looked around and realized that Momo had already entered the shed. "Great, I'm chasing down ghosts, which don't even exist by the way, with a friend who thinks he's some great detective…could this night get any worse." He muttered to himself as he followed after Momo.

As the pair quietly snuck into the shed, Ryoma glanced around nervously and decided that, just in case, he'd stay a few feet behind Momo.

Momo slowed down as they reached the back of the shed and held up his fist to signal that Ryoma should stop as well. "Ok, here's where Fuji said the noises came from." He whispered quietly. "But I don't hear any-."

Just then both boys froze as a bubbling noise reached their ears. Following the noise, their eyes widened as they saw that the locked door was slightly ajar and a light was on behind it. Turning to look at each other, and then back at the door, the two boys stood there frozen. "How about you go first." Momo said quietly.

"Are you insane, no way." Ryoma whispered back. "Why don't you go first?"

Chuckling nervously, Momo scratched his head sheepishly. "To tell you the truth I'm a little scared of ghosts."

Ryoma opened his mouth to make some kind of joke and then stopped, the bubbling noise had just gotten louder and now a sound like a knife cutting something could be heard.

Gulping, the two crept closer to the door so they could peek inside. There at the counter stood some man with a knife in his hand, and he was cutting up something and dropping parts of it into a boiling pan. Ryoma and Momo screamed as they turned around and high-tailed it out of there. Bursting out of the shed they took off down the street, never stopping until they'd reached their houses.

ooooo

Inui looked up from the chicken he was carving when he heard the screams. "What was that?" He asked, turning to look at a smirking Fuji.

"Oh nothing, just a couple of scared little ghosts." Fuji replied.

Tezuka looked up from his book and shook his head at Fuji. "Must you always scare them like that?" He asked. "Now they'll be useless for days."

Fuji just shrugged as Inui sat down with the food. "It's not like we have any matches for awhile…besides, it was fun."

Raising an eyebrow, Inui placed some chicken on his plate and handed Fuji a glass of his latest drink. "Well, eat it while it's hot." He said as he took a bite.


End file.
